|
the start is
i've been having a lot of dreams lately. the dreams just get more and more bizarre. a few nights ago, i had one my recurring dreams again. i always get this dream where i find myself in search of a restroom. the only problem with that is that i'm constantly searching and the only available toilets are either extremely dirty or they're not in actual stalls. i find myself wandering around a large room where there is nothing but rows and rows of toilets, and not a single one has a stall around it. but i keep refusing to pee without a stall and door. i need to pee in privacy. and so i keep searching, only to find variations of dirty toilets among stalls without doors, clean toilets without stalls, and pre-occupied bathroom stalls. the situation continues to worsen, making me flustered, distraught, and extremely bothered that i can't pee in privacy. the dream also doesn't seem to have a real ending with me finally pissing in a stall. in fact, i don't think i've ever found the clean toilet and perfect stall in any of these dreams, so no happy ending here. i'm not one to interpret dreams, but i do wonder if this means i have some privacy issues or not. that's hard to say considering that my life has been spilled into various pores of the internet through web domains, years of personal websites, and of course this blog. if you google the name of this blog, this site is sixth on the list of the first page of search results. someone should really interpret my dream for me. i've been having this dream for years now, and every now and then it surfaces again. and the morning after these dreams, i make an immediate trip to the bathroom, happy and eager to pee in a clean toilet and in a bathroom with an actual door. sometimes you really take for granted things like clean toilets and a decent place to pee. maybe this is my brain's way of telling me that i should be more appreciative and to stop complaining about meaningless, trivial things like acne and bad drivers. life is clearly good, dammit! i have a toilet to use with a bathroom, and a door complete with a working lock. clearly, that's all that should matter. i like being able to wake up late on fridays. i like being able to do nothing, to think about nothing, and to say nothing. to be able to do any of these is a luxury, especially when you've had one of the hardest weeks ever and it's finally over. it's time to do nothing. but it feels very suspicious to finally have free time. it's almost unnatural. you know when you absorb yourself in so much work that when you get a day to yourself to do nothing, none of it seems right? yeah, now that really sucks. i have this nagging feeling inside my head telling me that i should keep busy. it's like being hammered in my head repeatedly that i should be doing something and not nothing (double negative). shouldn't there be something i should be kerning or something that needs more leading? should i be checking the overall tracking and the alignment? are all the spaces activated, and are they too similar? is there enough contrast? apologies for the nerdy design talk, but i'm a walking-talking design zombie now. i live and breathe design, and i think it's kind of unhealthy (if not sad too). but no more of this! i'm going to take a break from the frenzy that is graphic design. this sunday, i'm going on a vacation, 9 hours away from home. |
latest entry the archives
|
