currently listening to: "american trilogy" - the delgados
it's hard to believe that i've only been in school for four weeks because it feels like it's been an eternity already. 7 more weeks until spring break though. that will be my one and only break for this entire semester until may. kill me now, please. my week was absolute shit. disappointment upon disappointment has stacked itself all around me and i'm at my wit's end.
"make it work. it's not working yet. it's starting to work." work, work, work. that is the most heavily used word used in design, and i've never been more sick of a word than that before. i've spent the entire week re-working my drafts for intermediate graphic design, only to realize that all this time i've been doing everything wrong. it's a huge blow to your ego when you think you've got something down, and actually you're way off tangent. apparently none of the work in my class is ready to be turned into the portfolio. that's sad. i've gone to office hours twice now, trying to get the opinions of both my professor from last semester and the current one for as much feedback on form and concept as i can get. this project is the bane of my existence, and i am physically and mentally exhausted. i feel as if every bit of creative juice left in me has been dripped dry and i can only produce plain, banal pieces of work.
what about valentine's? to sum it up briefly it started with tears in the morning, flipping someone off by noon, and by night i was flooded with school work and more feelings of discontentment and disappointment. exaggerations aside, it was probably the worst valentine's i've had. but at least the best (and only) valentine gift i received this year was from a friend's little sister. cindy's little sister lisa gave me the best card. it's sweet, and it has the looney tune characters on it. i'm definitely keeping it. valentine's is just a holiday that supposedly stemmed from a guy who married people when he shouldn't have, and fell in love with some person's daughter and signed his letters, "your valentine." (thank you wikipedia and google. so insightful. i learn so much from the two of you.) i should stop being so overly ambitious when it's not usually requited. it's too bad though, because i really like drawing hearts. maybe i should just work for hallmark. they'd like me.
the plans for the weekend is nothing but design. i am going to form the fuck out of everything until i find myself at the point of folding papers over to use as rulers to measure whether every little thing is aligned like there's no tomorrow. because you know, staring at a monitor for 9 hours straight starts to make you think that your eyes are playing tricks on you. they're tricky, tricky things. sneaky, almost, but not quite like an onion either.
sunday i will take a short break from my work and absorb myself in culture with giant robot's new gallery opening. i am desperate need of something uplifting and inspiring. right now there is little to none inspiration or contentment whatsoever. bitter much? why yes. cynical much? oh hells yeah. to put it simply anyway, i've had a bad week and i wish i had someone who likes the same music as me enough to go to see shows with me. mehhh. i need a music buddy. let's share music. and double the brownie points for the music buddy who will sit and listen to me talk my head off and whine about each and every little thing that's wrong with my life, the world, and the people in it. any takers? no? okay, i didn't think so either. kindred spirits are hard to come by, anyway.
